Being happy

'Many of us act as though we could find fulfilment if only we possessed enough money, enough security, enough respect, enough love, enough faith, enough education, enough power, enough peace, enough knowledge, enough.....something.'
(Quote from Buddhism plain and simple by Steve Hagen, published by Penguin).

I read this book last year when I was going through a bit of a tough time and was instantly gripped by how true this statement is. I have been thinking a little bit recently about fulfilment, and also about missed opportunities and 'what if?' This was sparked off by seeing a guy who I worked with years ago and quite liked. At the time, I thought there was a possibility we might have got together in a romantic fashion but this didn't happen. Fast-forward a decade or so. He's on the train, with a woman in tow. I spoke to him, we had a little catch-up, and it was nice to see him, but there was that little lingering thought, that 'what if?' that underpinned the whole experience. What if we had got together? What would have happened? Now we'll never know. Boo hoo, woe is me. I felt kind of depressed for a bit, then I thought about what has happened in my life since I met this guy and what I might not have experienced if we had got together. I have been on some fabulous holidays. One of them was a trip round Europe visiting six countries in eight days. It was very memorable, and something that I might not have experienced if certain circumstances in my life had been different.

St Mark's Square, Venice

I think sometimes that it's easy to focus on what might have been (I know that for me it is). It's better to look at what has actually happened in life and think about what opportunities have been, rather than focusing on what we think has been missed out on.

I read a lot of sixteenth-century history and one of the things I have noticed a lot is that people in those times had a really unquestioning view of God and believed that whatever happened to them was God's will. Obviously there are a lot of problems with this view, and I don't think things like sickness or earthquakes can be explained away by saying 'It's the will of God', but I think there's a lot to be said for accepting things that have happened in our lives and moving on. Not trying to explain them away or make little of them but realising that they have happened and made us who we are today. I don't think any experience in life is wasted if we learn something from it.

Fantasy Come Dine With Me

I was thinking earlier about what my fantasy dinner party line up of people living or dead would be (obviously as this is fantasy the dead people would be miraculously restored to life). I have toyed over the years with various line ups, however I have now decided that were I to host a Come Dine with Me-style dinner party my guest list would be as follows:

Mary Queen of Scots She was married three times, was Queen of France and Scotland and led a very interesting life (with a horribly tragic end but lets not dwell on that).

Jane Austen I love Jane Austen's books. There is a real timeless quality about her writing. I loved being in Bath and seeing some of the places she wrote about.

Johnny Cash I wish he was still alive so I could go and see him in concert. I am madly jealous of people who have had that opportunity. His voice is so distinctive and I find it quite soothing. My favourite song of his is the cover of the Nine Inch Nails song 'Hurt.' There is so much raw emotion in his voice and the lyrics are very moving.

Colin Firth Who wouldn't want to have Colin Firth at their fantasy Come Dine With Me dinner party? He would be the perfect guest.

Well that is my Come Dine With Me line up. I would imagine that I would cook something with French/Scottish/English/American influences. And entertainment would be provided by Johnny Cash.