Being happy

'Many of us act as though we could find fulfilment if only we possessed enough money, enough security, enough respect, enough love, enough faith, enough education, enough power, enough peace, enough knowledge, enough.....something.'
(Quote from Buddhism plain and simple by Steve Hagen, published by Penguin).

I read this book last year when I was going through a bit of a tough time and was instantly gripped by how true this statement is. I have been thinking a little bit recently about fulfilment, and also about missed opportunities and 'what if?' This was sparked off by seeing a guy who I worked with years ago and quite liked. At the time, I thought there was a possibility we might have got together in a romantic fashion but this didn't happen. Fast-forward a decade or so. He's on the train, with a woman in tow. I spoke to him, we had a little catch-up, and it was nice to see him, but there was that little lingering thought, that 'what if?' that underpinned the whole experience. What if we had got together? What would have happened? Now we'll never know. Boo hoo, woe is me. I felt kind of depressed for a bit, then I thought about what has happened in my life since I met this guy and what I might not have experienced if we had got together. I have been on some fabulous holidays. One of them was a trip round Europe visiting six countries in eight days. It was very memorable, and something that I might not have experienced if certain circumstances in my life had been different.

St Mark's Square, Venice

I think sometimes that it's easy to focus on what might have been (I know that for me it is). It's better to look at what has actually happened in life and think about what opportunities have been, rather than focusing on what we think has been missed out on.

I read a lot of sixteenth-century history and one of the things I have noticed a lot is that people in those times had a really unquestioning view of God and believed that whatever happened to them was God's will. Obviously there are a lot of problems with this view, and I don't think things like sickness or earthquakes can be explained away by saying 'It's the will of God', but I think there's a lot to be said for accepting things that have happened in our lives and moving on. Not trying to explain them away or make little of them but realising that they have happened and made us who we are today. I don't think any experience in life is wasted if we learn something from it.